Hiding Her Heart
by leoslady4ever
Summary: GaLu Week: Day 7 - SECRETS ***** Lucy cares for the Iron Dragon Slayer, but she can't talk to him. And she's pretty sure it's hopeless anyway. But when a blue cat spies, her secret is revealed, and things take a startling turn. (Sorry for the crappy summary - my brain just isn't working today)
1. Hiding Her Heart

_I'll go ahead and tell you that this is going to be a 2 part story. I've had a horrible headache all damn day, and I just don't think I'll be able to finish the whole thing tonight. However, I will be posting the second part tomorrow...hopefully. Cross your fingers for me..._

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**_GaLu Week: Day 7 - SECRETS_**

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_**Hiro Mashima** owns Fairy Tail._

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**HIDING HER HEART**

It was nearing 9 in the morning when Lucy sat down at her desk. She knew she was just prolonging the inevitable, but she couldn't help it. But she also knew that once she got to the guild, she'd be a hot mess. The blonde been struggling with her feelings for Gajeel, and for the last week and a half, had almost constantly made a fool of herself around him. Now, she was sorely tempted to just avoid the place altogether.

Of course, she knew she couldn't. It wouldn't be long before someone in her team came looking for her, and she sure as hell didn't want to have to explain why she was making herself scarce. Still, she couldn't resist procrastinating a bit longer. She wasn't quite ready to face him just yet, especially after yesterday. So she took out her diary, and began to write.

_Dear Diary,_

_It's almost time to go to the guild, and I'm kind of dreading it. I'm not ready to see Gajeel again, not after that disaster yesterday. I still can't believe I did something so stupid. I was walking across the room, and like always, I found myself watching him again. Because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, I ended up plowing right into the back of Mira who was holding a tray full of drinks in her hands. My luck – everything fell to the floor. Glass went flying everywhere and the floor was completely soaked._

_It was so loud that everyone turned to look at us, and I just knew I'd been caught ogling Gajeel. I was mortified, and to make matters worse, I could feel him watching me. My heart felt like it had climbed up in my throat, and I just knew my face had turned a brilliant shade of red. My first thought was hauling ass, but I couldn't leave Mira to clean up my mess._

_I'd barely managed to squeak out an apology to Mira, but I forced myself to hang around long enough pick up all the pieces of broken glass and wipe up the spill. All the while, I'd felt overwhelmed and exposed, and though I knew no one was upset at me, I just couldn't wait to get out of there. So, when I'd finished things up, I'd made up an excuse and made a hasty escape. _

_I know it sounds ridiculous, but I can't help feeling anxious at the thought of going back. I still feel so embarrassed. It's not like I've never caused an accident like that before, but for some reason, this time just really got to me. I guess it's because Gajeel saw me. _

_I'd been trying so hard lately to get his attention, just get him to see me. And yesterday, he did...just not in the way I wanted him to. I finally catch his eye, and it's all because I've done something stupid. __It's so frustrating! I've been invisible to him for so long, and now, I'm not. But it still changes nothing. I've just gone from a no one to the guild clutz. _

___Am I being foolish for continuing to hope for something more? Am I naive to wish things will change, that he'll come to care for me one day? _

_Maybe I should give up. How long can I keep going this way, wanting him but fearing that he'll never feel the same way about me...wanting to talk to him, but not being able to?_

_I see him with Levy all the time, talking, laughing, and it hurts. They have no trouble conversing or getting to know one another. And I want that. I wish it was so easy for me, but it's not. _

_Levy's tried to help me out by inviting me to join her at his table, but I just can't. I'm far too nervous to do that. But __I think about it sometimes, even going so far as to stand up to walk over. Then I see how __he acts with her and the urge dies. They're so comfortable with each other, and it's hard to watch from across the room. How much harder would it be up close?_

_To be honest, I don't think it matters anymore. Based on the way he acts with her, I'm fairly sure Gajeel likes Levy the way I like him. And who can blame him? She's incredible. _

_And I can't lie. I'm jealous, so jealous sometimes that I can't even breathe. My chest gets so tight, and I start crying. And it feels like it'll never stop. But I can't say anything...I have to keep it all inside. I could never__ hurt Levy by admitting such a thing to her. She's so soft-hearted that she'd feel bad, and it's not her fault. _

_No, it's mine. I'm the one that can't find the words to admit how I feel. I'm the one that's too scared to talk to Gajeel. I was the one that never believed I had a chance. That's not because of Levy. She doesn't deserve to feel bad about what I lack. _

_The truth is I'm not brave. If I was, I'd go after what I wanted. But I'm not. I'm afraid and pathetic, and what kind of man wants a woman like that? Certainly not a guy like Gajeel. He's strong, fearless. A man like him would want a woman with guts, a woman who isn't afraid to say what she thinks. _

_I was like that once, back when Gajeel was in Phatnom Lord. I got in his face and yelled at him. I had no trouble saying how I felt when we were enemies. But now, when it really matters, my tongue is tied. What a sad irony__. _

Brushing a tear from her eye, Lucy sighed. She'd hoped writing it all out would make her feel better, clear her mind a bit, but quite honestly, it had only made it worse. Seeing it all down on paper made her realize how impossible the whole thing was. And she knew she was just going to have to accept it. He was never going to be hers.

With that depressing thought, Lucy closed the book and stood to gather her things. It was time to go. She had to face him at some point. It wasn't going to get any easier, no matter how long she waited, so she figured she might as well get it over with.

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Hiding on the window sill behind her pink curtain, Happy watched as his friend finished writing and then wiped her eyes. He hated seeing Lucy so upset, but he didn't have a clue what was bothering her. Plus, he wasn't sure how she'd react to him sneaking into her house to spy on her. So he'd stayed hidden until she left and then flew down to see what she'd been writing.

His shoulders slumped as he read the hastily scribbled words, his own eyes filling with tears. She sounded so sad, he thought. But what could he do? He didn't know how to fix it for her. He couldn't even get Charle to accept his fish.

Then it came to him. _Natsu_..._Natsu would know what to do._ Feeling hope well in his chest, he grabbed the small book and flew off to the guild, easily bypassing Lucy's slow pace. He sniffed again at the sight of her looking so forlorn, but pushed on past her. He had to get to Natsu.

Swooping through the guild doors, he looked for his partner, then flew straight into his chest. "Natsu!" he cried, his voice wavering slightly. "You have to help!"

Natsu's eyes widened at the Exceed's demeanor. "What's the matter Happy?"

"It's Lucy," he sniffled, glancing around them before holding up a small book. "She's sad."

The pink-haired man frowned. "Is that her diary? Happy, you're not supposed to read that."

"I know, but I had to. She was crying," he explained, his eyes watering up again as he turned to what she'd written minutes before. "Just look at it, Natsu."

Natsu bit his lip with indecision. He knew Lucy wouldn't like him invading her privacy like this, but it had been a long time since he'd seen Happy so upset. And if there was anything that bothered him, it was seeing his friends unhappy. So, taking a deep breath, he looked down and scanned the page Happy indicated.

His eyes widened, and he shook his head in disbelief. How had he not known she was interested in Gajeel? From what she'd written, it sounded like she'd liked him for a while. Why hadn't she said anything?

The further down the page he got, the more upset he got. He couldn't believe she felt that way. How could she say that stuff about herself? Lucy was his best friend, and to him, she was amazing. She always took care of him and Happy, feeding them all the time, letting them stay over at her place, cleaning their house when it got really bad. How could she possibly believe she wasn't good enough for Gajeel?

Happy watched Natsu's face darken with worry, and he nodded his head sadly. "See? I don't like it when Lucy cries."

"Me either buddy," Natsu said absent-mindedly, looking across the room at his fellow dragon slayer. "...And I'm gonna see what I can do to stop it." With that, he stood to his feet. "Happy, stay here and keep an eye out for Lucy. I'll be right back."

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**_A/N: Okay guys. I'm really sorry if it felt scattered. My mind has been a bit scrambled all day from that migraine, so please forgive the shabbiness of this story. I promise the next part will be better._**

**_On a lighter note, thanks so much to everyone that participated in GaLu Week! I am thrilled with the turn out we had. If any of you still want to do some stories for it, then please do! We're always happy to have more! _**


	2. Seeing Her Heart

_Okay, here's the second part of Secrets as promised! Hope you enjoy seeing things from Gajeel's POV. Happy reading! Oh, and my super awesome beta reader is on vacation right now, so loads of thanks to my other Bestie for checking over this for me. Love you **Nicole4211**!_

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**_GaLu Week: Day 7 - SECRETS (Part 2)_**

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_**Hiro Mashima** owns Fairy Tail._

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**SEEING HER HEART**

Gajeel sat in his corner of the guild, mulling over what to do for the rest of the day. On one hand, he was itching to take a mission, but he kind of wanted to hang around the guild hall too. Things had been strange around there with Bunny Girl. And though he didn't know her all that well, even he could see that something was definitely up with her. For almost two weeks now, she'd been acting weird as hell, tripping and running into things, muttering instead of talking, stuttering all over the place.

He couldn't quite figure it out, and for some reason he hadn't deciphered yet, he wanted to. She was normally so put together and happy, moving easily through the guild talking to everyone she met along the way. So he was at a loss as to why she was suddenly acting so uncertain.

Then there was the way she'd run out of the guild the day before. Gajeel was almost positive she had just been making up excuses to leave, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out why. Mira hadn't been angry about the whole thing, and no one had done anything to make the blonde feel bad about her clumsy action. So why had she resorted to lying to leave right away?

Heaving a thoughtful sigh, he leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. He still couldn't decide what to do. He kind of wanted to see what Bunny Girl would do next, even if he was bored out of his mind waiting for her to show up.

"Gajeel..."

Hearing the Fire Dragon Slayer's voice, Gajeel grunted, then peered up at him with a dull expression. "I'm not in the mood. Go fight the Popsicle."

"I'm not interested in fighting. I came to talk to you," Natsu said solemnly.

The pierced man's eyes narrowed at his fellow slayer's tone, then he sat forward. "Why?" It had been a while since he'd seen Natsu so serious. The guy was normally so hyper, laughing and goofing off all over the place. So, seeing him this tense immediately put Gajeel on edge... "What's going on?"

He watched as Natsu did a quick scan of the room, then jerked his head to the side and walked off. Gajeel frowned as he stood to his feet and followed the younger mage. What the hell was going on? Why couldn't he just talk where they were?

"Oi Salamander!" Gajeel snapped as Natsu pushed out the back door to the guild and continued on to the training yard. "Why the fuck did you drag me out here?"

The fire mage pulled to a stop some distance away from the guild and slowly turned around, biting his lip anxiously. To Gajeel, it almost looked like he was unsure of himself, and that was strange as hell. Natsu wasn't exactly the type to think things through, and from what Gajeel had seen, rarely doubted himself.

This unusual behavior only served to make Gajeel even more suspicious. What the hell was wrong with him? "Okay, you're acting weird as hell. What the fuck is going on?" he growled.

Natsu swallowed hard, shuffling his feet before he spoke. "Something's wrong with Luce."

Gajeel paused for a moment. That's what this was all about? "No shit Sherlock. Tell me something I don't know."

"You noticed?" Natsu asked, his eyebrows winging up in surprise.

"Kinda hard to miss, dumb ass," Gajeel muttered, crossing his arms across his chest. "She's been acting odd. Now, what's that got to do with me?"

He watched as Natsu's expression changed again, staring at him as if in consideration, but what the pink-haired man was thinking, Gajeel couldn't tell. Then the Fire Slayer nodded his head, clearly coming to some sort of decision. "This is why it concerns you," he stated, holding up a small feminine looking book.

Gajeel eyed it for a moment, then shook his head. "Am I supposed to know what that is?"

"It's Lucy's diary."

Gajeel's eyes shot back up to the other man's face with a look of disbelief. "Are you out of your fucking mind? She's going to skin your sorry ass."

Natsu shifted uncomfortably. "I know, and once she finds out I let you read it, she's going to be even more pissed."

"Me read it?" Gajeel shouted, throwing his hands up to separate himself from the foolish man. "I'm not reading that fucking thing. She's going have every damn woman in the guild after you for this. I'm not letting you drag me into it."

With that, he spun on his heels and headed back toward the guild when Natsu called out, "Gajeel! I...I need your help."

That froze him in his tracks, and he turned to stare at the younger mage in shock. Natsu never admitted needing anyone, never believed he couldn't do something on his own. It was unheard of. Giving a soft curse, Gajeel stalked back over. He could see how much it had cost Natsu to say something like that, and he didn't have it in him to ignore such an act. "What is it, Natsu?" he asked gruffly.

"Luce...she's sad. She's been crying," he said softly, his eyes showing how much the idea hurt him. "...Because of you."

"Me?" Gajeel drew back at his statement. "How the hell is that my fault? I haven't done anything!" he protested.

The Iron Dragon Slayer frowned, trying to figure out what his guild mate was talking about, why Natsu would be blaming him for what was going on with Bunny Girl. He could understand why it bothered the Fire Freak to see his partner upset, but that didn't mean the jackass could set the problem on his shoulders.

Natsu shook his head quickly, his expression frustrated. "I don't mean it like that. I...just read what she wrote today."

"I already told you I'm not getting involved in that shit."

"Gajeel, you said you'd help!" Natsu declared loudly, his patience at a noticeable end. Then he gave the book a forceful shove into the elder slayer's face. "Now stop being such a chicken shit, and help me with Luce!"

Sending a nasty growl at the pink-haired mage, Gajeel snatched the diary from his hands. "Don't call me a chicken shit." He flipped through the pages at a rough pace, muttering curses the whole time before he came to the last submission. Looking up, he glared at Natsu. "I swear if I catch hell for this, I'm going to beat your fucking ass."

"Whatever," Natsu murmured, his mind already distracted as he pointed down at the page.

"This is such a bad idea," Gajeel mumbled, then turned his attention back to the slanted script on the page.

It took him all of five seconds to begin frowning down at the page, his eyes widening marginally the further he went. Before he knew it, he'd gone through the passage three times, but still his eyes couldn't seem to stop staring at it. He kept waiting for the words to change, to morph into something else, but each time, there they were, still just as shocking as the time before.

He didn't know how long he stood there looking at the diary, and quite frankly, he didn't know what to do with it. He was so confused. He felt like everything had been turned on its ear. Everything he'd thought he knew was no longer the truth.

He'd never imagined that he was the reason Bunny Girl had been acting the way she was. In his mind, they were friends, but not all that close. Of course, he wasn't all that close with anyone. Still, he'd had no reason to think that she saw him any way other than friends and guild mates, and now that he knew, he wasn't sure what to do about it.

Did he want to do anything about it? Now that the option was there, he was unsure what direction to take. She'd effectively blown his mind. It was all scrambled, every thought feeling more muddled than the last.

He'd always known when a woman was interested in him, always been able to see even the subtlest of hints, but this had quite literally thrown him for a loop. He'd always assumed that she had a thing for Natsu. They were nearly always together, and the two seemed far closer than what you'd expect from just friends.

Now, he'd been confronted with the fact that all of his assumptions were completely wrong. Bunny Girl had apparently liked him for a while, and he hadn't had a clue. He couldn't believe he'd missed it. Then again, he couldn't remember a single time she'd ever shown even the slightest sign of her affection for him.

Honestly, if he'd ever thought it a possibility, he'd have definitely been interested. She was gorgeous, with a body that any man would desire, but more than that, she was smart and thoughtful. Though the thing that made her the most impressive to him was her ability to forgive. He'd certainly given her plenty of reasons to hate him, and yet, she never had. And until now, he'd thought she had left that part of her life behind, along with any thoughts of him.

Now, it appeared that she hadn't, and thinking back to what she'd written, he couldn't help but cringe. The last part bothered him, her reference to his attack, but it also confused him to no end. Why would she want him after everything he'd done in the past? She could have her pick of all the men in the guild, so why him?

"You see now? You see why you had to read it?" Natsu asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

Gajeel nodded distractedly, his eyes still scanning the contents of her book. He found himself getting more and more curious about what else she'd written. Flipping back several pages, he found another entry about himself, one from about a month ago, and as he scrolled down the page, he couldn't help the grin that spread across his face.

"What the hell are you smiling about?"

Gajeel flashed a smirk in Natsu's direction. "She thinks I'm sexy."

"Give me that!" Natsu snapped, ripping the book out of the other man's hand before he could continue looking through the diary. "I didn't show you this to stroke your big ass ego."

Before he could stuff the book into his back pocket, Gajeel reached out and plucked it out of his hand again. "I still need it."

"What the hell for?"

"You wanted me to help, didn't you?" the Iron Dragon Slayer asked, arching a brow at him.

Natsu frowned, but nodded slowly. "Yeah, but how-"

Gajeel cut him off with a wave of his hand. "Don't worry about," he said before turning to walk back to the guild. A smile cut across his face as he looked down at the diary and called out over his shoulder. "I'll take care of Bunny Girl."

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**_A/N: As you can see, it's still not over. lol I really didn't intend for this story to continue, but eh...whatever. :D I love writing these two, so I don't mind! _**


	3. Hurting Her Heart

_Part Three of Secrets has arrived! Things are about to heat up! Thanks for being patient with me as I work my way through all my stories. Love you guys! _

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**_GaLu Week: Day 7 - SECRETS (Part 3)_**

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_**Hiro Mashima** owns Fairy Tail._

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**HURTING HER HEART**

Lucy strolled into the guild, forcing a smile onto her face to hide her earlier tears. She didn't want to worry anyone about what was going on with her, especially since it was something no one could help her with. It was simply a tough situation that she would have to learn to live with. That's all there was to it.

She had barely gone three steps with a ball of blue fur flew straight into her chest, knocking her off-balance for a moment until she found her feet again. "Whoa Happy...you alright?" she asked, gathering his body in her arms.

The small Exceed looked up at her with trembling lips and wide, shiny eyes. Her brow furrowed with concern as she brushed a hand along the back of his head. "Aww...what's the matter Happy?"

"I...I just missed you," he uttered softly, tipping his head down and burying it in her chest as if to hide.

She frowned down at her little friend. His behavior bothered her. Happy was always...well happy, and it was rare to see him upset about something. Of course, he could get a little pouty if he ran out of fish or sad when Charle rejected his attempts to give her fish, but for the most part, the only time Happy was like this was if he was hurt by something. And it worried her that he was lying about what was wrong.

Still, if he didn't feel like telling her, she wasn't going to push him. She could relate at the moment just a little too much, so she'd let him keep his secret and just be there for him. "I missed you too," she murmured into his soft fur. "You don't have to tell me what's wrong, but don't forget I'm always here for you, buddy."

He sniffled against her chest and managed a squeaky, "Alright."

Lucy gazed down fondly at the normally feisty Exceed and pressed a kiss to his head before looking around the room. It took her a moment to realize that she was once again searching for Gajeel, and with a long sigh, she pushed down the urge. She had to find a way to stop that. She knew it, but she didn't have a clue how to go about it.

She felt like she'd been enthralled by him forever, and now she had far too many bad habits where he was concerned. So much of her time over the last couple months had been spent watching him, thinking about him, dreaming about him. How was she to suddenly cut it all off?

How was she supposed to resist the impulse to look at him when he was so close? How did she turn away from such an enticing sight every day when he was just there across the room? And that was exactly the problem. There was too much temptation here for her. Maybe she needed some time away.

Though the thought of being away from him tugged at her heart, she knew this might be the only way. She needed space. It was time to come to grips with the futility of her feelings, to say goodbye to her hopes of a relationship with Gajeel. She couldn't keep living like this. It was making her crazy, and as strange as she'd been acting lately at the guild, she felt certain she was driving everyone else crazy too.

Yes, it was time for a change, not just of scenery, but also a change in her life. Time to face the music, she thought. "Hey Happy, how about a mission today, a nice long one with a little fighting? Think Natsu will wanna go?"

The cat looked up with sleepy eyes, tilting his head to the side. "You want to go on a mission? But you hate fighting."

"I know I do," she sighed in response, then shrugged, trying hard for a smile. "I guess I just thought it might be a nice change."

Giving her another questioning look, he nodded his head. "Okay."

Lucy smiled wistfully down at Happy as he burrowed back between her breasts to sleep, then glanced up as Levy called her name. The blonde scanned the area and found Levy at Gajeel's table, waving her hand at Lucy in invitation. The man who normally sat there beside her blue-haired friend, however, was nowhere to be found. She bit down on her lip, struggling with what to do, and then decided to just visit for a minute.

She moved toward the table, plastering a grin she really didn't feel on her face. "Hey Levy-chan."

"Hi Lu-chan! You want to sit?" the shorter girl chirped, patting the seat beside her.

Lucy licked her lips nervously, then scanned the room again, before shaking her head. "I-I think...I better not," she stammered, hugging Happy tightly to her chest.

Levy looked up at the blonde, an expression of sympathy on her face. "Lu-chan...why don't you just talk to him? Give him a chance to see how great you are."

"I think he's already found the person he thinks is great," Lucy said, smiling sadly down at her friend. "I think I'm going to get away for a while, see if Natsu wants to go on a mission. I can't stay around here without acting like an idiot."

"Oh Lu-chan." Levy frowned, her eyes showing her concern. "You aren't acting like an idiot."

Lucy shook her head with a small laugh. "Yeah I am, and it's time to stop. Thank you for trying to cheer me up, but I-"

The blonde's words came to an abrupt halt as the back door to the guild sailed open and Gajeel came clomping in. Immediately, she felt the air seize in her lungs, and just like always she couldn't resist taking a moment to admire the sight of his strong form. Quickly, she shook herself from her stupor. He would be at his table within moments, and she needed to be long gone by then.

"I...I've got to go, Levy-chan. See you later," she offered distractedly, then turned to leave when Levy reached for her arm and pleaded, "Lu-chan, please stay."

Lucy could see him getting closer, his long legs eating up the distance between them, and with every step, she felt her throat close even more. Pulling her arm from Levy's grasp, she choked out, "N-No...I can't. I...have to leave...now."

Levy sighed sadly, then nodded in resignation. "Just promise me you'll be careful on your job, okay?"

With that, Lucy bolted from the table, nearly running into Macao in her haste to get away. She squeaked out a quick apology before rushing over to the mission board for a relatively easy job that would last a while. Forcing herself to avoid glancing in Gajeel's direction, she scanned through the posted requests, and finding one, headed over to Mira to get the mission logged in.

"Is this one for Team Natsu?" Mira asked, leaning over the large record book.

"No, it would just be Natsu, Happy, and me." Lucy shifted her weight uncomfortably, feeling the incurable desire to exit the guild.

Mira peered up at her a moment later with a bright smile. "Okay, you're all set."

"Thanks, Mira." The blonde took a quick look around, and still not finding her partner, turned back to the barmaid. "Um...can you tell Natsu when he gets here? I haven't seen him yet."

"Oh, that's odd. He was here just a few minutes ago," the white-haired woman said, then shrugged. "I'll let him know as soon as I see him. You want him to meet you at your house?"

Lucy gave a quick nod, then muttered a soft goodbye and headed out of the building. The moment she stepped onto the street, she breathed a sigh of relief, her heart easing into a normal pattern and her body almost instantly relaxing. Yes, this was what she needed...just a little space.

She didn't get far when a voice called out to her, a voice she'd know anywhere. "Oi, Bunny Girl."

_No no no..._ Why was he trying to talk to her? She winced as she came to a stop, then slowly turned around. "Y-yeah? D-Did you need...something?" she asked, then immediately wanted to slap herself. She sounded like such a damn moron. No wonder the man couldn't see anything date-worthy about her.

His eyebrow lifted at her greeting, then he smiled. "Where are you running off to?"

"I-I'm going to the...to um...I mean, I'm going h-home," she stuttered, dropping her head to hide a cringe at her pitiful response.

Gajeel chuckled, drawing Lucy's wide-eyed gaze back up to his. "Now, why would you want to go home already? I was thinking we could talk."

Lucy's mouth dropped open at his suggestion. She couldn't understand what was going on. Why did he suddenly want to talk to her? "I-I don't k-know...um..." She trailed feeling entirely uncertain about what to say to him.

"What? You don't want to talk to me?" he asked, crossing his arms across his chest as he smirked down at her.

The blonde felt completely dumbfounded at this point. Was he flirting with her?

As quickly as the thought formed, she cast it away. No, there was no chance of that happening. He was just teasing her a little because she was acting so ridiculous. But that still didn't explain why he had gone out of his way to talk to her.

Her lip tugged unconsciously at her lower lip as she considered the possibilities. It just didn't make sense to her. He'd never done this before. Normally, he only made it a point to talk to Lily and...Levy. As the last name settled in her mind, she felt her heart clench.

That had to be it. Nothing else made any sense, but the thought that he had sought her out for help with Levy had her almost doubling over in pain. She didn't want to see the two of them together, couldn't bear to watch as the man she ached to be with asked her best friend out. More than ever, she needed this job, because seeing that would be far too much for her to handle.

Thankfully, Gajeel seemed to be unaware of her revelation, and had unfolded his arms with a grin. "You know, I would have thought you'd enjoy talking to me after what I read today."

Slowly, Lucy forced her mind to refocus on the conversation, but frowned when she still felt completely lost. "W-What?"

"I know..." he said, then seeing her confounded expression, leaned in and whispered into her ear. "I know all about how you feel about me. I believe you said, 'Why does he have to be so sexy?'."

Lucy's face flared a bright red at his statement. How had he found out? Had he overheard her conversation with Levy the other day? But she couldn't remember saying that to her blue-haired friend. She'd only ever admitted how attracted she was to him in her...

The thought died away, taking the color from her cheeks with it. Her diary. He'd read her diary. The words kept repeating in her head, filling her with a swirling mass of emotions. It hit her all at once, embarrassment that he'd discovered her crush, betrayal at having her privacy violated, anger at his teasing about her feelings. She didn't know what to address first.

"Y-You read my diary?" she asked, her voice soft, nearly carried away by the wind.

Gajeel seemed not to notice the precarious position he was in and gave her a teasing grin. "If you liked me so much, you could have just told me."

"How...did...you...get...my...diary?"

His amusement faltered at her staggered question. "I...Natsu showed it to me," he said, shuffling his feet uncertainly.

Lucy felt the hole in her chest widen. Her partner had done this. One of her closest friends had found her secret and had offered it to the one man that could use it against her. She felt sick to her stomach as she realized that Gajeel had just been having a bit of fun at her expense. Had he come looking for her specifically to let her know that he knew all about her little crush? Was he just trying to make fun of her?

All at once, it became too much, and she exploded. "How dare you! That was pr-private! You had n-no right to read that!" she snapped, feeling tears spring to her eyes. With a loud sob, she gave his broad chest a rough shove. "What am I, some kind of joke to you? Just a stupid girl, thinking she had a chance with you, right?"

Choking back another sob, she shook her head, intending to leave when he winced and said, "I didn't...that's not what I was trying-"

"Save it..." Lucy cut him off, then turned around to head back to her house.

"Wait...Lucy," he called, taking a few steps to follow her. "You've got the wrong idea. I... What about your diary?"

The blonde spun around a final time and sent him a watery glare. "Keep it. Wouldn't want you and Natsu to miss out on the rest of your fun."


	4. Losing Her Heart

_I have __Part __Four__ of Secrets __for you__! __Sorry it's taking me so long to get all my stories caught up. I just have so damn many of them, and life won't let me exist only in my FT stories. Lol _

_Anyway, thanks for being oh so amazing and for all your wonderful reviews. You give me inspiration to keep writing! __Love you __all so much__!_

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**_GaLu Week: Day 7 - SECRETS (Part __4__)_**

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_**Hiro Mashima**__ owns Fairy Tail._

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**LOS****ING HER HEART**

Lucy pushed into her house, barely getting the door closed before her legs finally gave out. She sank to the cold floor of her kitchen and cried, great heaving sobs bursting from her chest as she curled herself around the tiny ball of fur in her arms. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so hurt, so alone.

How could Natsu have done this to her? How could he betray her in such a way? Her heart ached so much, like the place that housed her partner had been cut out, leaving a hole far too large to fill. And Gajeel...

God, she was a fool, such a damn fool to think for even a moment that Gajeel had been trying to get close to her. She should have known better. She had...she really had known that, but the second he'd begun talking to her, her hopes had soared. She had stupidly let herself harbor that treacherous belief all the way up until he'd mentioned the words from her diary.

How could she face them after this? How could anything ever be the same again with Natsu, with her team? She couldn't bear to see either of the sorry bastards right now.

Suddenly a tiny pair of paws touched her cheeks, and a soft voice sniffed, "Don't cry, Lucy..."

Lucy blinked watery eyes down at the small cat and choked back another sob. "Happy..." She didn't know what to say. The pain in her chest was too great to describe, and the words to ask why refused to come. She was lost, completely and utterly lost.

She didn't have a clue how to tell her little friend what was wrong with her, but Happy didn't seem to require it. He simply wrapped his little arms around her neck and cried with her. His tears sent her own flowing again, and the two sat there and held each other.

The Exceed had somehow known just what she needed, reminding her so simply yet so eloquently that she wasn't alone. She had Happy, and in spite of all his teasing and joking about her in the past, Lucy knew he loved her. And that knowledge sent warmth spreading through her body, giving her the strength to finally claw her way up out of her despair.

She hadn't lost it all. She wasn't on her own again. She had her little furry friend and Erza and Gray, Levy and Mira, Cana and so many others at the guild. They hadn't left her behind or used her secrets to hurt her. They were still there for her, and though she had taken a hit today, she refused to give up the only family she had left.

Still, that didn't mean she was ready to see Natsu and Gajeel again just yet. Her feelings were raw, exposed for all the world to see, and that's not something she wanted to show. No, the next time she stood before the two of them, she wanted her armor on. She wouldn't let them see how much she hurt, how badly they'd cut her with what they'd done.

And that meant she needed time. She needed a chance to sort things out and get her head back on straight, and to do that, she had to get away for a while. She knew if she stayed here, Natsu would be up her ass, and she was nowhere near prepared to deal with him. So, that left her one option, to complete that job on her own.

The thought was a little scary, going off alone on a mission. She hadn't been out without her team in such a long time, and there was a part of her that wondered if she could handle it. She was afraid...of getting in over her head, of failing. She was afraid of so many things, but this was one time that she couldn't let her fear hold her back.

She'd just have to figure it out. And she would, because she was a Fairy Tail mage. Plus, she didn't want to explain to Erza or Gray why she was taking a job without Natsu.

Taking a deep breath, she picked herself up off the floor and looked down at the blue cat in her arms. "Well Happy...I guess it's just you and me. Wanna do this job with me?"

The little Exceed blinked up at her uncertainly, before asking, "You mean without Natsu?"

By sheer will alone, Lucy managed not to flinch at her partner's name. She knew Happy loved Natsu. They were best friends after all, and she'd been waiting for the blue cat to bring him up. But right now, she couldn't bear to think about him. "Yeah. I just...I don't think I can talk to him yet," she said softly.

Happy frowned a bit and looked down at the floor, his body squirming nervously. It was easy to see that he was uncomfortable at the idea of excluding his friend, and deciding to ease his mind, she reached out and ruffled the fur atop his head. "It's okay, Happy. I can handle this one on my own," she said, giving him a soft smile.

More than anything, she didn't want him to be stuck between her and Natsu or feel like he had to choose between them. It wasn't his fault they were at odds, and Lucy wasn't about to drag him into it. If he felt going with her would mess things up with Natsu, then she would rather he stay home. This wasn't his fight; it was hers.

But her blue-furred friend shook his head. "No, I'll go with you, but...can I leave him a note so he'll know where I am?"

The edges of Lucy's mouth turned up at his decision. "Sure you can. How about we head over to the train station, and we'll get Virgo to take him the message?"

Happy's head bobbed in agreement, then he followed Lucy into her room to pack. She made short work of the job, and ten minutes later, the two were stepping onto the train that would take them away from home. In a way, it almost felt like she was skipping town, running from everything that had happened, but maybe that was because of how little time had passed since she'd made the decision to go. But that wasn't it. She simply needed some time.

The truth was she hadn't a clue how to handle things with Natsu or Gajeel, and before she saw them again, that had to be figured out. She couldn't go back to the way things had been before, not after today. She felt like everything had changed in the space of a single afternoon, and she was lost as to what to expect next.

Right now, all she knew was that she was done fumbling for words and struggling to express herself. It was time to find that backbone she'd had before she'd ever decided that Gajeel was the man for her. It had become clear to her that he held no affection for her, and she needed to find the strength to let him go.

Natsu was something altogether different though, and dealing with the disappointment in her friend would probably hurt far worse than losing the dream of Gajeel. The fact was she'd always expected to lose when it came to the Iron Slayer, but she'd never thought to be wary of her best friend. He'd been by her side since she'd come to the guild, and it had been like a kick to the gut to find out his part in this.

She'd always looked at Natsu like her own personal hero. He was the guy who'd always had her back, the one that she'd always turned to when she was hurt. Now that all this had happened, who could she go to? Who would hold her when she cried?

From the moment they'd met, Natsu had held a huge place in Lucy's life. Outside of Levy, he was her closest friend, and they'd been inseparable until now. And the thought of not having that anymore broke her heart again because even with all her other friends at Fairy Tail, no one could come close to filling his spot.

Natsu was irreplaceable to her, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that his loss would leave a gaping hole in her life. Was that what she could look forward to when she returned? Was that what awaited her in the future?

Giving a sad sigh, she looked out the window. Off in the distance, she could see Fairy Tail, and she watched through tearful eyes as the guild she loved so much grew smaller until at last it was no longer visible. She turned away from the view and closed her eyes, already finding herself missing everyone. But she'd be back in no time, because there were still two dragon slayers to be dealt with.

* * *

Gajeel walked back into the guild in a daze, the small book still clutched in his hand. He had quite literally bombed with Lucy, but more than that, he'd probably ruined any chance of anything with her in the future as well. Somehow things had gotten all messed up when he'd talked to her, and the pretty blonde had taken everything the wrong way.

Now, he was pretty certain she would never look at him again, let alone give him the opportunity to explain. No, his goose was cooked. He had screwed this shit up royally, and not just for him. He'd likely done the same for Natsu, and that wasn't going to go over well.

Damn, it couldn't have possibly gone any worse. He could still her accusing him of making fun of her, calling herself a joke, saying she was stupid. She'd been so pissed, so hurt, and then she'd cried. He couldn't stop seeing that look on her face as she yelled at him.

He couldn't believe he'd hurt Lucy again. It brought him back to his Phantom Lord days, to the day he'd met her. She'd taken everything he dished out, and though Mavis knew the memory of that haunted him, he admired how she'd shed not one tear. She'd been so damn brave, not showing even a moment's weakness. She'd just glared at him and taunted him, defied him at every turn.

He'd never been so impressed by anyone like he had been with that little spitfire of a woman. And now, after swearing he'd never harm her again, he'd done just that. Only this time, he'd made her cry, and that made it all so much worse. He wasn't a man who took promises lightly, especially not promises he made to himself. And now, he'd broken one, one that meant a great deal to him, and he didn't know how to fix it.

And so, he'd come back into the guild, seeking the one man that might know what to do. Then again, there was a good chance that Natsu would refuse him after the pink-haired man found out how fucked up everything had gotten.

"Gajeel!"

The Iron Dragon Slayer squared his shoulders and turned toward the voice in time to hear Natsu say, "How'd it go?"

"It...went about as good as a bomb going off inside the guild," Gajeel muttered, dragging a hand through his hair.

"Huh? Are you saying it went bad?"

The pierced man gave Natsu a bland look. "No, I'm saying it was so great we're meeting up later to pick flowers. Of course I'm saying it went bad, you idiot!"

The fire mage ignored Gajeel's insult and asked, "How the hell could it go bad? What happened?"

Before the dark-haired man could respond, a light went off beside them and out popped one of Lucy's spirits. Natsu's brow furrowed in confusion at the blank-faced maid. "Hey Virgo. What're you doing here? Where's Luce?"

"A letter for you," she uttered, handing him a small envelope. Then without a trace of emotion, she turned to Gajeel and drove her fist straight into his face, sending him flying backwards into a table. "And for you...punishment."

As quickly as she'd come, the maid disappeared, leaving Natsu to gaze at the spot she'd occupied with wide eyes. "What was that all about?" he asked as Gajeel climbed to his feet and made his way back over to his fellow dragon slayer.

Ignoring the stares and questions of his other guild mates, Gajeel frowned at Natsu and shook his head. "I have a feeling you're about to find out."

Shooting the taller man a strange look, Natsu opened his note and recognizing Lucy's handwriting, he said, "Oh it's from Lucy. She said..." his voice trailed off as he continued to scan the page. He finished not even a moment later, and then his head came up, his eyes bright with anger.

"What the hell did you do?!"


	5. Confusing Her Heart

_Well this one was fun to write. I don't know why I enjoyed making Natsu fuss at Gajeel so much, but I did. lol It would be so cute! Anyway, thanks so much for your reviews and follows and faves. You guys are the epic best!_

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**_GaLu Week: Day 7 - Secrets (Part 5)_**

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_**Hiro Mashima** owns Fairy Tail._

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**CONFUSING HER HEART**

Natsu was pissed...no beyond pissed. He was furious. He could feel that deep well of fire simmering inside, his magic beginning to spark around him as he stared at Gajeel. The moron had completely wrecked things with Lucy, and now it wasn't just his ass on the line. Natsu's friendship with the blonde was also now hanging by a thread, and that was completely unacceptable.

He let out a low growl and pointed at the guilty-looking man. "Outside..."

Natsu walked out the back door without looking back. If Gajeel knew what was good for him, he'd follow, because at this point, Natsu was inches away from kicking his ass. No one screwed with his relationship with his best friend.

He stopped under the same tree where this had all begun and waited. It wasn't 30 seconds later before he heard the soft crunch of Gajeel's boots, and taking a deep breath, Natsu turned and leveled the other man with a scowl. "Tell me what you said to her...now."

Gajeel's face folded into a sneer at Natsu's command, but after a moment, it fell away, leaving him sighing with regret. "I...I screwed it all up man. I thought I'd flirt with her a little, let her know I knew how she felt..."

"What...did...you...say?" Natsu's patience at an end. His friend was getting further and further away, and he still had no idea why. "What the hell did you say to her to make her leave me this...this...bullshit note?!" he snarled, shoving the slip of paper into the other man's face.

The Iron Slayer drew his head back, his eyes straining to read it before taking the white sheet in his hands. Natsu watched him read the cursed thing, watched his eyes moving back and forth over Lucy's hastily scribbled note. Lucy's handwriting never looked like that unless she was upset, and if that hadn't been enough of a red flag, her speech in the message certainly had filled him in.

_Natsu,_

_Happy wanted to send you a message to let you know that he is with me on a job request. We left a message with Mira for you to join us, but that will no longer be necessary. Please don't come after us. We've already boarded a train and are by now already on our way to another place. Please refrain from entering my home while we are away as I don't want anything messed up. We will only be gone for a few days, so you need not worry about Happy. I'll make sure he is safe while we are away._

_Lucy._

The note had been short and to the point, and she'd sounded far too rigid. That wasn't how Lucy talked to him. It wasn't how Lucy talked to anyone. And she never left on jobs without him. It was always him and her and Happy. They were a team, the best of friends, and yet she'd left him behind. And why would she only assure him of Happy's safety. She knew how much he worried over her. Why would she say it like that?

He couldn't help it. He was worried, not just about the two of them on a job alone. He knew Lucy could take care of herself, and if things looked too difficult, she was smart enough to back off and ask for help. She wasn't the type to let her pride push her into something she couldn't handle. And if worst came to worst, he knew Happy would fly them away to safety.

But that wasn't the point. The point was he was supposed to be there with them. He was the one that was supposed to be fighting by Lucy's side, watching her back. This was all wrong.

More importantly, her message had scared him because Lucy had never pulled away from him like this. They were tight, as close as two friends could be, and the fact that she had bailed the way she did left him nervous over the state of their relationship. Sure, Lucy had been pissed at him before and vice versa. They'd gotten over it almost instantly just like every other silly fight they'd had. So why did this time feel so different? Why did it pain him this way?

Looking up at the man opposite him, he felt anger flash through his being again. This was all his fault. Reaching out, he snatched the note from Gajeel's hand and snapped, "Tell me what you did to make her leave me behind!"

Gajeel winced, his face filling with regret. "I quoted something she wrote in her diary. I didn't mean..." He took a deep breath and continued, running an agitated hand through his hair. "She...she thought I was making fun of her."

Natsu felt his stomach drop, his mind adding things up and filling in blanks. "She figured out you read her diary..."

"I'm sorry man. She asked me how I'd gotten it, and I...I didn't want to lie to her."

"How upset was she?" Natsu muttered, his brow already wrinkling at what he knew Gajeel would say.

The older man's face fell. "She was crying. She told me to keep the diary because she didn't want us to miss out on our fun."

"Damn..." Natsu stared at Gajeel in defeat, his anger all but gone in the wake of this new information. "She's never going to talk to me again," he said softly. He couldn't believe how badly everything had gone. He'd only wanted to help her because he hated to see her sad, and now, everything was all messed up.

"This was my fuck up, not yours. I'll figure out some way to fix it," Gajeel said, lifting a hand helplessly before dropping it to his side and sighing. "I think my ship is sunk with her, but I'll do what I can to get her to talk to you. I can't guarantee she'll listen though. I'm pretty sure she hates me now."

Natsu blinked at the other slayer in surprise. He hadn't anticipated Gajeel offering to talk to Lucy on his behalf, and as he thought over their conversation, he realized that the Iron Dragon Slayer was being strangely helpful. He honestly seemed upset over the whole thing, especially the fact that he believed his chances to be ruined. Maybe Gajeel had more feelings for Lucy than he'd let on.

"You like her, don't you?" Natsu asked quietly. "I mean, you really like her."

Gajeel's eyes narrowed at the personal question, and he looked away, his shoulders squaring in defense. "Yeah, but it doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"

"It'll matter to Luce." _If she'll ever hang around long enough to listen_, Natsu wanted to add, but seeing Gajeel's dejected face, decided to keep that to himself. He felt fairly certain the other man was already thinking the same thing.

What a mess... His best friend was mad at him, his partner was off with her on a job that they'd cut him out of, and here he was...stuck with the guy that had screwed things up for both of them.

He sighed and slumped against a tree, letting his head fall back as he closed his eyes. Maybe she'd calm down while she was gone. Maybe she'd come to realize that he'd never take her feelings so lightly. She should know him well enough by now to know that already. Still he had to admit that it looked bad. He had taken her diary. Well, Happy technically was the one who took it, but he'd been the one to give it to Gajeel. And Gajeel had taken that information and...completely blown everything to shit.

Damn...he wished she hadn't left. He hated leaving things like this. He wasn't a patient man, and he didn't like when his friends were hurt. He wanted to fix it. He wanted his best friend back and smiling that happy smile he loved so much. "This sucks..."

His response was a grunt from the tree next to him, and he glanced over to see Gajeel in much the same position he was in. "I don't like this waiting shit," Natsu griped.

"A few days..." Gajeel said, his tone equally frustrated. "Could be worse, I guess."

"How the hell could it be worse?!" Natsu complained, shooting his cohort a look of disbelief.

"She could be gone for a couple weeks!" he snapped back

Natsu blanched at the thought of waiting that long to see his friend and work things out. He'd go crazy if Lucy stayed gone for weeks. Suddenly, the idea of sitting here with his thumb up his ass didn't sound so great. "You know what, I'm not doing this."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Gajeel asked, opening his eyes to peer up at Natsu moving away from the tree. "Hey, where the hell are you going?"

"I'm going after Luce. You stay here like a pansy ass if you want to, but I'm not waiting."

"Fuck that. I'm going with you," Gajeel yelled, scrambling to his feet.

Natsu shrugged his assent and kept moving toward the guild. Maybe they could both fix things with Luce. Then she wouldn't be sad anymore. He couldn't say he was thrilled at the thought of the Iron Dumbass dating his best friend, especially after this shit storm, but if it made Luce happy, then he'd let it go.

He couldn't help wondering though how the big idiot would fare with Lucy this time around. Would he manage to even get two words in before she ripped him a new one? She'd apparently chewed him up and spit him out earlier after Gajeel had tried to 'flirt' with her. And though Natsu had never actually attempted to flirt with anyone, he figured even as inexperienced as he was, he'd be a hell of a lot better at it than Gajeel obviously was.

Turning to the solemn man beside him, Natsu scoffed, "You know...you really suck at flirting..."

* * *

Making it safely to Clover, Lucy and Happy made their way down the street towards the mayor's office, both lost in their own thoughts. Happy knew he needed to tell his friend the truth, that it was him that had stolen her diary. He hadn't done it to be mean, but Lucy might not care why. She was so mad at Natsu, but it was really his fault for being so curious to begin with.

They walked for another ten minutes until Happy could take it no more. He didn't want to keep secrets like this, so with a deep sigh, he broke the silence.

"Lucy...can I tell you something?"

Lucy looked down at the little cat and smiled. "Sure Happy. What's up?"

"I..." he trailed off, his head hung in shame. "I don't want you to be mad at me."

The blonde came to a stop, her expression falling in confusion. "What? Why would I be mad at you?"

"It's my fault," he whispered guiltily. "I'm the one that took your diary."

Lucy's eyes widened at his admission, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as her eyes filled. "It was you? Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry," he uttered pitifully. This whole thing had started with Lucy crying, and he had wanted nothing more than stop it. And now, here she was crying again, and this time was because of him. He felt so bad.

"Those were my private thoughts," she cried. "They weren't meant for anyone else!"

"I know Lucy!" Happy sobbed, his eyes spilling over with his own tears. "I saw you this morning. You were writing in that book, and you were crying. You looked so sad..."

Lucy paused in her anger. "You saw me?"

"I hate seeing you sad, and I just thought...if I could find out what was making you cry, I could fix it." His voice trembled as he explained, but it didn't matter as long as she was listening. "But I didn't know what to do..." he sniffed, "So I took it to Natsu. He didn't want to look at it, but he did it for me because I was upset."

"Happy..." Lucy called, her face softening as he told his tale.

"We just wanted to help, Lucy. We weren't trying to be bad," Happy finished tearfully. He hated having to admit that everything had happened because of him, but he felt better knowing he had told the truth. Now maybe she wouldn't be so angry at Natsu. "Please don't be mad at us."

The blonde reached down and swooped him up in her arms, hugging him close to her chest. "Oh Happy...you silly cat," she sniffled, rubbing her face against the top of his head. "How can I be mad at you when you were just worried about me?"

"You're not mad?" he asked, tipping his head up to give her hopeful eyes.

"No," she laughed softly. "I understand why you did it, and it's really sweet of you to want to fix it for me. I wish you could, but that's not how it works."

Happy nodded sagely. He had figured that out from how badly things had gone. Still, he didn't like that Lucy was having such a hard time. He liked teasing her, but he didn't like seeing her unhappy. He liked her smile. "What about Natsu?"

Lucy sighed, then started walking again. "I'll have to talk to him when I get back. I still don't like that he showed my diary to Gajeel. I mean, I understand that he thought he was helping, but...well, you saw how that went."

"Yeah," he answered quietly.

Gajeel had really messed things up with her. Happy wasn't quite sure what the Iron Dragon Slayer had been trying to do, but it sure hadn't gone over well with Lucy. "Gajeel's an idiot."

Lucy's face broke into a smile, and she giggled. "Yes, he really is."

Happy smiled at the small laugh, then frowned, his head tipping in curiosity. "I thought you liked him."

"I do...or I did..." Lucy sighed, her shoulders lifting in an uncertain shrug. "I don't know. I guess it really doesn't matter, huh? He obviously doesn't like me very much if he was willing to make fun of me like that."

The blue Exceed watched his friend's face fall, and he set a comforting paw on her cheek. "Well, if he doesn't like you, then he's definitely an idiot."

Lucy's lips lifted in a small grin, and she leaned down, pressing a light kiss to his head. "Thanks Happy."

Happy beamed up at his partner, glad that he'd managed to work things out with her and fix things between her and Natsu. He was feeling pretty proud of himself, but the best thing was knowing he could have his team back together again. He couldn't wait to get back to Magnolia. He wanted things back the way they used to be...with him, Natsu, and Lucy going off on missions as a group. Cause, no matter how much he loved going off with Lucy, it was always better with all together.


End file.
